Resources
Books/Ebooks
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, PhD: Although Forward does discuss other types of abuse in this book, she covers emotional abuse extensively. This was my personal breakthrough book. She also gives suggestions for healing, not all of which I agree with, but many are useful.
Cutting Loose by Howard Halpern, PhD: Halpern’s emphasis is on improving the relationship with abusive parents, which unfortunately isn’t always possible. Still, there’s useful information on different kinds of manipulative situations.
<If You Had Controlling Parents by Dan Neuharth, PhD: As the title states, this focuses on controlling parents. It also addresses the issue of improving the relationship with information about understanding what they’re doing and coping with it.
Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward, PhD: This deals specifically with manipulation. Although geared heavily towards domestic relationships, there’s useful information here about any manipulative relationship. Forward discusses how to tell when an interaction is manipulative and when it isn’t and offers suggestions for dealing with it, although with some abusers, they’re not going to work.
Who’s Pulling Your Strings? by Harriet Braiker, PhD: This is another book on dealing with manipulative people, not necessarily parents, with an emphasis on how it’s done and why you’re vulnerable to it. It does contain some suggestions for dealing with it, including ceasing contact with the manipulators.
Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, with Ann McMurray: This book addresses emotional abuse in any kind of relationship. The main thing to be aware of here is that this is written in a Christian context, including quotes from the Bible, so those who aren’t Christian may be put off by this. That being said, Jantz addresses a type of emotional abuse that doesn’t often get discussed known as spiritual abuse, which is the use of religion to manipulate.
Websites
The Verbal Abuse Site: Author Patricia Evans has written several books on verbal abuse. She identifies herself as an “intercommunications specialist.” There’s an emphasis on verbal abuse in domestic relationships, and the organization of the site leaves much to be desired, but there’s still some useful information here.
Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA): This is a nonprofit organization begun in 1993. It’s home to the Survivor to Thriver ebook, which is a self-study recovery program that you can download for free. Some areas have face-to-face support group meetings to work through the program. There’s also a forum where you can share your work through the program.
Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse (HAVOCA): This UK-based organization started in 2001. It’s website includes a discussion forum (requires registration), articles with information for survivors, and resources that include a section for survivor letters and a section for survivor art.
Abuso Emocional: Dr. Joseph Carver is a clinical psychologist who has created a website on emotional abuse in English and Spanish. It includes an online course and a guide that discusses what emotional abuse is and how to detect it.
EQI.org: Steve Hein writes about emotional abuse as part of a site on emotional intelligence. Organization on this site isn’t the greatest and his concern is particularly for teens, but he’s been writing about emotional abuse since at least 2009 and there’s some useful information here.
Letters I’ll Never Send: Abuse: This is a website that allows people to anonymously post letters, including to abusers. Be warned, though, that many deal with some pretty serious stuff and may be triggering.
Light’s House: Light is associated with the website Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. She’s written here about toxic parents with an emphasis on parents with personality disorders like narcissism.
Blogs
Note: There are many amazing abuse survivors blogging, so I’ve limited the list here to those I’ve found who devote a significant amount of their blogging space to emotional abuse.
Rainbow Gryphon: This is my own blog where I write about my healing journey, particularly how dreams have helped me and are helping me heal from emotional abuse. Not everything I write is about emotional abuse, but if you want to know more about me then this is the place to go.
Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse: Tracie Nall is a sexual abuse survivor and has been in charge of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for a while now. During some months, Tracie collects submissions of blog posts from survivors of all kinds of abuse.
Blooming Lotus: From October 2007 to October 2012, Faith Allen maintained one of the most detailed, honest blogs about abuse. Although she no longer updates it, the information there is well worth checking out. Be aware that Faith is a survivor of ritual abuse, which means she suffered severe sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse. Some of her posts are triggering, so proceed with caution.
Child Abuse Survivor: Mike is a survivor of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. He’s been writing about abuse since at least January 2002. He has particular insights into the experience of abuse from a male point of view.
Emerging from Broken: Darlene Ouimet is a sexual abuse and emotional abuse survivor who’s been blogging since at least December 2009.
Kate1975′s Blog: Kate, survivor of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse with dissociative identity disorder (DID), has been blogging about her experiences since at least March 2009. She shares some of her healing-related creative writing here as well.
Lori’s Song: A blog maintained by a nonprofit organization run by a number of women who survived physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. It’s been up since 2012. They also have discussion forums.
Discussion Forums
Note: Some of these discussion forums require that you register in order to gain access to all of the subforums they offer.
Facebook: Emotional Abuse: This is a closed Facebook group, meaning you can only post and view posts if you’re a member. This is a busy group with some strict conduct rules that are enforced. Do be aware that many posts are about emotional abuse in domestic relationships, and a lot of anger is vented in this group. Go in with a compassionate heart and an open mind.
Fort Refuge: This message board is run by abuse survivors and has a busy chat room as well as various subforums, including Emotional & Verbal Abuse, Male Survivors, and Handling Tough Emotions. You’ll need to register in order to access all of the forums.
HAVOCA: The nonprofit organization Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse have two helpful subforums. The first is their Main Child Abuse Forums, which include sub-subforums for emotional abuse and psychological abuse. The second is their Survivors Sanctuary with sub-subforums that allow you to talk about the past and share your healing journey. Although you can view the list of sub-subforums along with the number of topics, the number of posts, and information on the last post to the forum, you can’t view the discussions without registering.
isurvive: This is a nonprofit organization that’s been around since 2001. Its forum for physical/emotional/verbal abuse survivors is public, but you’ll have to register to access forums for sexual abuse, ritual abuse, and male survivors.
Psych Central: This website has forums that address all kinds of psychological issues. Their Survivors of Abuse forum is the place to go to discuss childhood abuse of all kinds.
+supportgroups: This is a social network of support groups. You sign up for an account and can join one of hundreds of groups. You post and comment, have followers, “heart” posts you like, and have a support “feed,” much like on Facebook. There’s a group for emotional abuse, abuse, and sexual abuse.
Daily Strength: This is a website with online support groups in many topics. Its Physical and Emotional Abuse Support Group has discussions from survivors of both child abuse and domestic abuse.
Out of the Fog: Out of the Fog is a website that specializes in providing support for those who deal with people with personality disorders. People with personality disorders are almost all, without exception, emotional abusers. Even if you don’t think your abuser suffers from a personality disorder, what they discuss will ring bells for you. Their forum Unchosen Relationships, which is public, is where people go to discuss family members. Please don’t join the forum, though, unless you believe your abusive parent has a personality disorder because that’s what this site is for.
Audiovisual
Changing Post: The Emotional Abuse Blog: Will Perry from the UK has made some videos on emotional abuse. It hasn’t been updated since May 2013, and there’s a heavy emphasis on domestic abuse, but there’s still some useful information here.